Confession of a ‘BAD’ Muslim girl

What is the definition of a good Muslim woman? I’m no Islamic scholar, but as far as I can understand with the little knowledge I have, “A good Muslim women is the one who has complete faith in ALLAH, Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet Muhammad, who is modest in both getup and and words, who covers herself in a way that doesn’t show her true beauty, who prays 5 times a day, recites Quran, perform fasting, and who doesn’t harm anyone by words or acts”, right? I’m not sure if I got them all right, but that’s all came to my mind now. Again, I’m not a Islamic scholar, there could be mistakes, there could be more to add. Islam is a versatile religion, and it’s not possible for someone like me to learn it fully. 🙂

Being a real Muslim is not very easy. Actually being religious is not very easy. This is true for every religion because you have rules and rituals to follow. You don’t follow all of them, then you are not a true religious parson. And, we all who fall into this category of not being  true religious,  are well aware that someday we have to answer to our lord. For us Muslims to ALLAH. And we all have to face consequences for our sin.

Again let’s get back to the definition,

“A good Muslim women is the one who has complete faith in ALLAH, Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet Muhammad

This is the easiest part I guess. We all have faith, we may have question and suspicion in some rules and fact, but we completely believe there is only one lord: ALLAH, and we believe his holy prophet and his scripture holy Quran.

who is modest in both getup and and words, who covers herself in a way that doesn’t show her true beauty,

This is actually the hardest part for Muslim women. Here, I’m an example. I cover my hairs with a hijab, I cover my full body, except my feet and 1/3 of my hands. (A little higher than the wrist). Yes, I’m guilty of not covering myself the Islamic way, in a way that doesn’t show shape of your body, doesn’t reveal your beauty, because I use tons of makeup too!  And I’m aware that I will be questioned in the day of judgement. But, I am only bound to answer to my lord, ALLAH, not any human being! 

So, the people who are now-a-days so much concerned about my getup not being the Islamic way, this is my answer to you: “I will only answer to my lord, about my deeds. Not to someone who is also a servant to him, like me!”  🙂

When you are modest, you are not suppose to reveal not only your physical beauty, but also your state of mind. Modesty should be your way of life.

But funny is, people only concentrates on being modest with the getup, but not with words. Like what you say, that doesn’t count. And the hilarious part is, they often mix up extremity with modesty. You use extreme words and expect me to change, this is not how it works. You have to ask nicely for a cup of coffee, even when you are paying! So, when you curse me saying that I’m going to hell for my this getup, how can you think that I’ll be changed from now on? And by the way where is your “MODESTY” IN WORDS? 

“It is most hateful in the sight of Allah that you say things which you do not do.” (61:3)

who prays 5 times a day, recites Quran, perform fasting, and who doesn’t harm anyone by words or acts”

Well, I try to say my prayers regularly. It’s been a long time since I’m doing that, ALHAMDULILLAH. I can’t recite Quran regularly, but I do recite sometimes. And I am not afraid to admit that, that “sometimes” is not very regular. 🙂

But our extreme religious people often forget to not harm people by words or acts. Like backbiting about someone’s life and matter. Or like the IS who think their acts of killing people is establishing ISLAM, when it actually is destroying it?

“O you who believe! avoid most of suspicion (against others), for surely suspicion in some cases is sin; and do not spy (into other people’s affairs), nor let some of you backbite others.” (49:12)

“Religion is easy, but any one who exerts himself too much in religious devotions will get overcome by it; so you should just act rightly, and keep to the mean, and be of good cheer, and ask for Allah’s help morning, evening, and a part of the night.” (Bukhari.)

So, here’s my confession after all this discussion:

I know, I’m not doing it the right way. I am wearing hijab, still not dressing fully the Islamic way, I’m going outside with loads of makeup, trying to make myself attractive in others eyes. I wear a volume hijab, and post my pictures in social media and blog in different poses. So, why I’m wearing hijab, while I’m doing these? Because this is the least I can do right now. I’m wearing hijab this way for a long time and I will keep it wearing like that. Not everyone can follow the exact dress-up way, and we all are guilty of that sin. And on the judgement day, when my lord will ask me why did, what I did, I will give my answer to him, and him only. So, no other human being or living things should question me about me or my lifestyle. And I will only start dressing up in Islamic way, when I feel like doing it. Not because of what others think, NEVER!  So, I’m a BAD Muslim, who admits she is actually a bad one, not the one who pretends to be modest and can’t be so.

You know, what else is funny? “Wearing hijab and makeup together!” is also questioned by the one who doesn’t wear hijab at all or who doesn’t maintain hijab properly (you know, wearing hijab one day and going without it the next day 😉 ).  And most important fact is once people starts practicing, they think their past life is forgiven! Ohh really, because you are a good Muslim now, nothing else matters? It’s like enjoying and then repenting? Wait dear, without my getup and makeup, you don’t know my past, present or what I will be in future. So, just because you see me that way, that doesn’t mean you know me well. Like I don’t know about you at all. Only our lord does and let’s leave it for him.

And at last this is for them people, though I’m not sure if they actually believe so:

“Pardon (people) and overlook (their faults). Don’t you love that Allah should forgive you.” (24:22)

Have a good weekend, everyone! 🙂 🙂

8 Replies to “Confession of a ‘BAD’ Muslim girl”

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